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요즘은 미친뜻으로 공부하느라 이 블로그을 죄신의 것으로 못 했다.

ça fait tellement longtemps que je n’ai rien mise à jour sur ce blog. il semble que j’étudie trop dur ces jours-ci.

faz bastante tempo que não atualizei nada nesse blog. pode ser que to estudando demais esses dias.

 

어제아침에 일본에서 돌아와서 한국에 귀국했다. 진짜 짧은 여행였더라도 재미있게 보낼 수 있게 되었다. 간사이가이다이(関西外大)란 오사카와 쿄도의 사이에 있는 히라카타(枚方)란 도시 근처에 위치한 외국어대학교를 다니는 친구의 집 묵었고 그와 한국에서 만났던 포르투갈어 유창하게 하는 딴 일본친구랑 그곳저곳 돌아다녔다.

bon. hier je suis rentré en corée depuis un court séjour au japon. même si la duration de ce séjour n’était pas si allongé j’ai pu jouir beaucoup là. je me suis resté chez un ami japonais que habite près de l’université de langue étrangère de kansai, dans une ville située au milieu des deux grandes villes d’osaka et kyoto. on s’y est aussi beaucoup proméné avec une autre amie japonaise avec qui parle couramment portugais.

então ontem voltei de minha curta viagem a japão. mesmo se nem passei muito tempo lá acho que consegui aproveitar o suficiente. fiquei na casa de um amigo japonês que mora perto da faculdade de línguas estrangeiras de kansai situada numa cidade bem no meio das mais grandes e conhecidas cidades de osaka e kyoto. a gente andou muito com outra amiga japonesa que fala fluentamente o português devido a passar um ano inteiro no rio de janeiro.

 

이번은 내 일본있는 여행 3번째이었다. 오사카에 가본적은 8월 처음으로 갔는데 그땐 하로만 밖에 보낼 수 없어서 간사이(関西)라는 오사카, 쿄토, 코베 포함된 지방을 더 상세히 익숙하게 되도록  4-5일동안 보내기로 했다.

cette fois-là c’était la troisième fois que je suis allé au japon. même si j’avais une fois connu la ville d’osaka je ne la connais toujours bien alors c’était pour cette raison que j’en decidé a la rendre une visite plus significative.

essa foi a terçeira vez que fui dar uma passadinha no japão. já tinha conhecido a osaka mas naquela vez só fiquei por um dia daí querendo conhecer melhor a região resolvi ficar um tempo mais prolongado desta vez.

 

버스도 많이 탔고 기차도 많이 탔는데 대중교통으로 다니는 경험으로 일본사회가 얼마나 진정하는지 알게 됐다. 한국은 무조건 빨리빨리 같은 생화해 살아가지만 일본에서 모든것 정말 고요하게 진행하는것같다. 그현상은 적당한 서술적인 언어 없음.

j’y ai pris beaucoup de bus et de train et c’est par là que je suis arrivé a connaître combien est-elle tranquille la société japonaise. à l’autre côté en corée on voit toujours des gens pressés mas au japon on ne voit que d’une paysage de sérénité même dans les lieus remplis de citoyens. il-n’y-a pas de mots descriptifs appropriés.

através de pegar muito ônibus e muito trem fiquei ciente do quanto o japão e uma socidade serena e respeitosa. na coreia o povo tá sempre às pressas mas no japão, apesar de trabalharam duros tudo se move com uma serenidade que raramente se vê nesse mundo. não tem palavras pra descrever tal fenômeno.

 

뭐..일본있는시간은 별추억을 기억에 남을수없을만큼 얼른 지나서 자세히 순서대로 했던 것을 서술하기 어렵다. 맛있는 것 많이 먹고 신기한 절도 방문 적이 있고 울 친구들 이둘 외대 다니니깐 일본어를 놀란 정도로 잘하는 외국분도 많이 만나게 되었다.

bon.. le temps que j’y ai passé c’est passé si vite que je n’ai pas pu retenir trop de souvenir dans la tête donc ça serait dur de me rappeler ce que s’est passé au cours du séjour. naturellement j’ai mangé beaucoup de chose delicieuse et rendé vistite à des temples manifiques, et en plus j’ai eu la honneur de connaître quelques étrangérs qui possedait un niveux impressionant de langue japonaise.

então o meu tempo no japão passou tão de repente que nem consegui guardar muita lembrança no cérebro, aí seria difícil o ato de descrever como é que foi a viagem de forma detalhada e cronológica. comi muita coisa gostosa (no sentido de mulher não, infelizmente) e conheci um templo legal. tb tive o prazer de poder conhecer estrangeiros que falam fluentamente o japonês, que estão cursando na faculdade de línguas estrangeiras.

 

코베에도 처음으로 가게 되었는데 생각보다 좀 별로이어서 더 買物이나 쇼핑을 하려고 오사카의 제일 유명한 상업지구로 향했다. 갔다가 사람 하도 많아서 포기하고 집으로 딱 간다냐는 생각이들었는데 일본있는 마지막 밤이라는 걸 스스로에게 기억나게 했다. 그래서 그냥 참고 결국 끝없는 인파에 익숙하게 되고 편하게 나머지의 사려고 했던 친구위한 선물들을 살수있었다.

pour la prémière fois j’ai aussi rendu visite a kobe pendant une après-midi, mais je n’en ai pensé pas grande chose de l’endroit donc j’ai resolvé retourner à l’osaka pour faire des achats. une fois que je suis arrivé, j’ai remarqué la magnitude de gens en face de moi et immediatement penser à rentrer chez mois. mais comme c’était mon dernier jour au japon j’ai decidé à en supporter et je suis enfim reussi à faire tout ce que j’était venu faire.

pela primeira vez fui conhecer a kobe na tarde do último dia mas não pensei muito da cidade aí resolvi voltar pra osaka um pouco mais cedo pra fazer compras pelas amigas coreianas. uma vez que cheguei enfrentar a multidão pensei em voltar direto pro hotel mas sendo o último dia no japão não tive como fugir daquela cena. então decidi aguentar o masso inhumano de pessoas e acabei conseguindo fazer tudo que precisava fazer. enfim nem era tão ruim assim.

 

다음날아침 되고 왠지 그런 여행 끝난다는 아쉬움이 느끼기 시작한다. 난 일본에 가면 갈수록 그나라의 매력에 매번 좀더 깊게 빠지고 있는것같다. 그리고 일본어 꾸준히 배우며 일본문화와 더 친해지는뜻. 근데 당장 가고싶지 않거든. 너무 자꾸 갔아 오면 호기심을 사라지고 모든것 평범하기만 될수도있다. 내가 차라리 또 가고싶다는 감정이 고조되길 기다리며 참아보다. 하지만..힘들다. ㅜㅜ

le jour suivant j’ai commencé a sentir la tristesse du fim du voyage. le plus que je vais au japon le plus que je m’en enthousiame pour le pays lui même. d’ailleurs pendant que j’étudie la langue japonaise cela m’a exposé d’une forme profonde à la culture. mais en fait je ne veux pas y aller autre fois trop vite. avec le but de garder la mystère et la nouveauté du pays, je vais patienter jusqu’au jour quand il sera approprié à y aller de nouveau.
o dia seguinte comecei me dar conta do quanto eu ia sentir falta do país. o mais que vou pra là o mais quero ficar. e o que é mais é que venho estudando a língua faz um tempinho agora e desse jeito me aproxima cada vez mais à cultura do japão. mesmo assim não quero voltar de repente não. quero poder mantenir o mistério e a estupendez do lugar, e até o dia quando estiver o tempo certo pra ir mais uma vez vou esperar com impaciência.

yesterday i finished the 3 (2.5) month korean course at the local university. time had gone so insanely fast that the notion of trying to make the best of every moment wasn’t ever able to break into my thought process, i was just so busy doing my own things etc. but now it’s finished, i’m left with a mild emptiness and the irrepressible concern of “where to now?”..

i start masters on the 27th of february next year, which is a little over 3 months away. i would say that i have roughly two months left in korea. i really don’t know what to do with that time. i will likely have to teach english, which i was trying to avoid ㅠㅠ.

now that my course has finished, the well known sensation of starting afresh is beginning to take effect. maintaining interest in korea seems to be in vain as the time approaches to leave and my thoughts (and studies) turn towards to a possible future japanese adventure. it’s so easy to study a language that you are thoroughly interested in both linguistically and culturally.

i wouldn’t say that i’ve spurned any regard for korea or living here. i’ve made many good friends (both local and international) and done some fun stuff. it’s the matter of not really becoming attached in any way to the place, no matter how much my local language ability improves.

i think the issue is, as a foreigner, especially a white one, there are better countries in the region, ie japan, in which to live, as a foreigner. korea just doesn’t endear itself to foreigners, or to the locals either particularly ㅋㅋ

i don’t plan on giving up on the language at all or anything of that nature. in fact i would be inclined to even marry a local. however i think that my focus will naturally turn itself towards japan and although next year there will be plenty of chances to use and improve korean, i see it as becoming another “brasil” in terms of times gone past.

sad that this sejour already seems to be archiving itself. maybe i should try harder? for the sake of the last couple of months, as it’s unlikely i’ll come back to live at any point. visit perhaps. 고민. troubles.

last night for the first time i can remember, i become lost for words in a language in which i was formerly proficient. having used korean almost exclusively for the last several months, every time i try to speak a language that isn’t english the only thing that seems to come out is korean.

it’s the strangest, most mind altering sensation.

walking home tonight from hongdae i got a feeling comparable to the one i experienced in rio.

discovering new tunes, subconsciously sensing a wave of creativity roll in from an unforeseeable source.

the notion if that i plan to make my seoul experience noteworthy, i have to stand out while blending in.

the hair, has to have flair.

the attire, cannot be dire.

the attitude, well, has to be on the same latitude.

that doesn’t make sense, but at least i tried.

there’s always been a constant flow of energy within my inner being. i don’t think i’m talented enough to express it through any tangible means such as music or art. nor performance. language seems to be my strong suit, but how can i release my creative nuance through a medium that few people will comprehend?

that’s the dilemma. which is why i have to keep thinking. keep dreaming.

i wanted to write something to remind myself of the nomadic nature of life thus far. perhaps its the huge can of local beer ive drunk, accompanied by a huge slice of convenience store pizza^^ let’s just say for the record that i intend to make the rest of my korean experience a memorable one, otherwise there is truly no point to remain here..

the time from finishing high school up until the moment i departed for the united states was for the most part a downward stroll into the dark depths of my depression-tending subconscious. thank god for america. 5 months of snowboarding, drinking and wacky tobacky. yeah, it was the start of something i like to think of as “how the fuck can i go back to australia when there is so much more to experience out there?”

then.. brasil. i don’t even need to talk about brasil. it’s influence on me has definitely waned over the past few years especially after becoming enamoured with the orient but.. it’s brasil and it will always be number 1. rio, the amazon, recife.. just the names conjure up so many memories. if i were to go back now with the apreciation and life skills that i have gained since the last time i left, i don’t think i could ever leave that place, no matter how dangerous or corrupt.

then.. europe. europe just isn’t my kind of place. it’s nice but.. i never really got into that whole, thing.

back in au i couldn’t shake myself of the brasilian vibe. so i went back for a month and became even more addicted.

so, i managed to get myself 2 semesters of exchange. 2008 was a hell of a year. starting in rio, brasil. actually i wanted to go to recife. i don’t know why – nothing can ever compare itself to rio in any way. i look at those 5 months with extreme fondness, they weren’t perfect, but.. despite my lack of social skills and what not i still managed to have  a good time.

and then, the 3 or so months in the middle east. in terms of travel, besides japan perhaps, no trip can compare to the one that i carved through the scorching heat of an arabian summer. starting in turkey, the exotic aura of the east began to impose itself gradually as i delved further into the rugged eastern reaches of the land. it was approximately at kaseri that i inspiration was elevated to a level incomparable to that of any previous voyages. the closer i got to iran, the further i felt from my own reality and the more i felt that i was living in a mystical world of unimaginable landscapes, of people befriended without linguistic means within the blink of an eye and the dusty, hot air of the high altitude plateau. ararat was the point where i couldn’t even tell whether i was still on the earth or had subconsciously moved onto another realm.

onto iran. iran is self explanatory, in my own eyes. i couldn’t even find words befitting of such a land. and if i could, i would be here for several hours more at least. the rest of the trip wound through the gulf, jordan and egypt, each place even more inspiring than the previous. i wish there was a way to convert such accumulated inspiration into my own character, my own personality. a way of constantly reminding myself of the things i’ve seen, done and experienced during this time which could illicit a permanent readjustment of my own psyche. a psyche that appreciates life for what it is, the small things, the human interactions, something that only recognises the positive, that sees the inner being instead of the shell, that doesn’t constantly slide into depression because of something apparently lacking within itself. if i could base my personality on that scene, floating along the nile while gazing up at -that- moon.. i would never experience a moment of forlorness, of anxiety, of self doubt, of negativity for the rest of my life. everything that i feel is lacking in my present existence would present itself through a series of opportunities that i would recognise and instantly grasp – the same opportunities that present themselves, but either i don’t have the presence of mind to recognise them or the courage to grasp them. if only i could convert the immensity of feeling gained from staring down on a god-like scene or the human-human exchange of emotion without even the need for language, into my own personality, paradigm, etc. then i wouldn’t continue to live with the same concerns that have remained with me for as long as i can remember. the concerns that inhibit me from living an existence where i can realise that i am happy, rather than analyze incessantly the apparent reasons that  i am not.

switzerland. i met some awesome, awesome people but my university experience was lacking. there’s really not any desire to go back unless to visit some friends. not to say i don’t have a place in my heart for it just.. well i tend to think of the snowboarding. little else comes to mind.

after that i stopped by asia. my first time in korea, and my rugged aventure across china. actually, i used to hate that place but i would be happy to go back. i don’t know why, perhaps it’s grown on me. one place i’d love to live, hong kong, fantastic.

i came back to sydney. another year, perhaps wasted? surely not entirely. but, off to southeast asia to be reborn. again, i feel words would spoil the aura that is contained in within my vassal for such a region. i don’t think constantly about when i can go back, but i would jump at the chance, should it arise.

canada. lonely but beautiful. i wish that it had worked out but i guess my heart was set on…

korea. wrong answer, but i went there anyway, and it’s there i remain until this day. i’ll be blunt, if i had gone to japan, my life would be so great. seriously, even judging by one week there, i can say that everything that is lacking in my korean life would easily be resolved in japan. but, i live in korea, and it too has it’s charms. not so many but.. well, i like the edgyness. it’s real here. i think it’s still a little too early to write it off but.. we’ll see.

i came directly from the convenience store after hearing a song which blew my mind. it took me right back to the skies of eastern turkey where, at least in a physical sense, i felt closest to god. those days i was so attached the beauty of planet earth. it’s something i’ve come to accept, that as an inwardly-focused being i am at ease with being completely isolated rather than being of those with social necessities. those days i traveled huge distances across lands of wildly varying scenery. and you know, it didn’t even bother me that i did it alone. i met so many people at that time anyway, just by random.

but these days, 30 is creeping up on me, i have to start thinking career wise and the days of incessant wanderings is definitely coming to a close. i began to crave the social interaction that i lacked for so many years through my very own nature. i need to erase my constant solitude through the companionship of a member of the opposite sex. i am getting old, seeking stability, but these days all i want is to be able to enjoy the remains of my noncommittal lifestyle.

and yes, i am attempting to readjust my lifestyle. more than ever, trying to make friends rather than hanging around waiting for people to befriend me. trying to meet girls, going on dates, sending text messages incessantly. one month of this and, sometimes i see the payoff, and sometimes i feel that korea just isn’t where i should be. sometimes i wonder if i should relax a bit, or if there is something i’m not aware of. i don’t know. but the idea of just -leaving- tends to occur to me more and more these days, the same way it did back in yong-in. what to do what to do..

Faz um tempo que naum escrevo nada por aqui mas assim que comecou tocar uma musica de forro no ifone me lembrei desse fato, peguei o caderno e assim to escrevendo para depois postar online. hoje eh uma dia de encher bem o saco. de manha 4 horas de provas de forma taum chata me deu vontade de so escrever coisa qualquer e ir dormir no chao da sala de aula. na tarde fui direto pra casa e fiz que nem o resto da aula tava indo fazer, dormir. Tava bem cansado ai consegui dormir umas 3 horas. mas na hora de acordar veio uma sensacao taum profundamente depressante que me deixou com uma iradez que naum senti ateh agora na coreia. pessoa nenhuma nao quero encontrar e vontade nenhuma de estudar nem de ir correr/malhar. so essa perspetiva negra que invadiu a cabeca sem eu saber.

10 minutos pra repensar..

a causa dessa confusao, como sempre, eh mulheres. ando taum preocupadinho a encontrar uma coreiana perfeita mas por tanta esforco naum to vendo nada de resultado. conheci umas de coracao humilde e tal mas naum gostei delas o suficiente pra me apegar nem continuar seguindo um namoro serio. so uma, que me deixou muito impressionado mas nao consegui pegar, so me fudei mais uma vez. agora so penso em abandonar de levar tudo isso ao serio e me concentrar em aproveitar a vida daqui e desse jeito depois de conhecer muitas garotas indesejaveis quem sabe eu achar uma que vale a pena ?? ve se der..